At the beginning it is worth explaining a few key concepts. According to psychologists, love consists of three factors: passion, intimacy and commitment. How to get over a crush?
The first is identified with mutual train and violent emotions, which we deal with especially at the beginning of our acquaintance: jealousy, desire, fascination, longing and admiration for the other person. As you can easily see, passion is made up of both pleasant and difficult feelings – such as longing for a loved one and jealousy of her – they are connected by the fact that they are very violent and intense. We can define intimacy as closeness and friendship between loving people. The better we get to know each other and the more we get attached, the more intimacy between us.
We have common secrets, rituals and customs. We trust ourselves, we are loyal to each other and we have more and more matters that connect us. The last component of love, i.e. commitment, is the result of our conscious decision – it means that we remain connected even when we do not shape ourselves or feelings weaken. As a result of commitment, we often make serious decisions related to entering a new stage of life and relationship: we live together, get engaged, get married, buy a shared apartment or have children.
How do you get out of a crush
- Realize that infatuation is one-sided. If he does not respond to your prolonged glances, he is not looking for contact with you, he is in a relationship with someone else, you need to realize this and not deceive himself that maybe the other party is hiding his feelings.
- Try to accept the given situation – infatuations happen, maybe you are experiencing it not the first time and probably not the last time. It will pass. Do not insist that you only want him and no other, because he is not an ideal, maybe being in a relationship with him would be a failure.
- Do not take his indifference too personally – infatuation without reciprocity is not due to the fact that there is something wrong with you and therefore he does not show you interest. You must have fallen in love with you once, and you didn’t reciprocate his feelings even though he was nice and handsome. The object of your sighs probably values you a lot, but it sees you as a friend, not a potential partner. The status of a friend is also ok!
- Be honest with yourself – don’t try to pretend you don’t feel anything, because you can bother even more. The sooner you realize that you are captivated, the sooner you get rid of this condition.
How to distinguish infatuation from love
At the beginning of your relationship it’s better not to use big words and not make serious decisions. The initial fascination and infatuation with another person is a transient stage that may or may not lead to great love and a long, satisfying relationship. However, it’s not worth trying to speed up this process. The attraction is beautiful and should be enjoyed while it lasts!